Theories
Eight ways of
reading the same
experiment
They agree with every measurement ever taken. They disagree completely about what is happening. Weirdness is conserved — each one just puts it somewhere else.
Copenhagen
“Shut up and calculate.”
Many-Worlds
“Everything happens.”
Pilot Wave
“There was always a particle.”
Relational Quantum Mechanics
“Facts are relative to the witness.”
QBism
“It was inference all the way down.”
Spontaneous Collapse
“Put up or shut up.”
Superdeterminism
“The universe wrote your answers before you took the quiz.”
Consciousness Causes Collapse
“The disreputable uncle.”
Not one of the eight
Decoherence
“The universe was already bumping into itself.”
The picture is the same one the disreputable uncle is drawn with, and the caption is the entire difference. This is not a reading of the experiment — it is the thing every reading above has to explain.